My Shippmate’s birthday was this past weekend, and I thought I would share what I did for him here.
Kind of because I love documenting everything, but also kind of because I think you all might appreciate this sweetness more than my lover of a Shippmate.
Let me start with a text exchange between myself and my favorite friend in all of Warrensburg just minutes after finishing the special celebration I had spent hours preparing…
me: “Men are just a waste of thoughtful lol.”
Amy: “Which is why it makes sense that it is hard for them to be thoughtful. Because it is stressful for them?? LOL”
Ummmm, yeah lol. So I’m glad we can start there.
Ha. Okay, so here was my precious and special and lovely plan.
Ryan broke and then lost his wedding ring about a year ago. (#plumbingproblems)
And it’s no lie, my Shippmate is getting hotter. Just ask Kristin Meyer’s aunt who recently said he could be a model.
So it’s really irresponsible of me to have this model of a man of mine just gallivanting about the streets and sewers of Warrensburg ringless for lusting women (ahem, Kristin’s Aunt) to think he is still on the market.
I can’t even type all of that in the solitude of my own living room without dying laughing. And June’s sleeping, so I have to stay quiet.
But, no really. The man needs a ring. Women need to know he’s very very married.
And more realistically, I like the way it looks on him. It’s his only accessory and he wore it so well. (until he broke/lost it, that is)
So, here we are, with a perfect birthday gift. I was discussing what kind to get him with my mom and Bailey, and per some cool unique idea Bailey had combined with the fact I didn’t know his ring size, I decided I would make some clever and sweet way to “re-proposing” to him to let him know his gift was the ring we would pick out together.
Because girls– if you could imagine yourself ever losing your wedding ring lol– wouldn’t you LOVE that?!!!??!
And here’s the thing– I actually know what a dangerous game gift giving is and how SO often we give what we want to receive blah blah blah, so I seriously KNEW that going in, but still wanted to make it clever and sentimental because I guess I enjoy that process?
I truly did try to tailor it to him, too! Like instead of having it be in front of people or with other people, I let it be just him and me, etc.
Anyway, so here’s what I did.
I had my awesome artistic friend design 6 signs each with one word on them from the favorite wedding line of ours:
“With this ring, I thee wed.”
Then I carefully and romantically (lol) chose 6 locations that have special significance to The Shippmate and I here in Warrensburg.
On each card, I wrote a clue leading him to the next location with fun and special memories that place brought us.
The morning of the Shippmate Scavenger Hunt, I went and put all of the signs on the special places, and then gave him the starting card.
I had him do it alone, because I thought it would be better for him without having me sitting there staring at his every reaction lol. (this was me trying to think like a man???)
Also, I wanted him to end at the last spot with me there ready to “re-propose!” I even talked a local jewelry store into letting me briefly borrow their ring sizer things for me to have to put on his finger!
(which for the record took a lot of convincing and me nearly having to run out of the store with it lol)
The first card I gave him (at our current home) told him he could find it at very frequent Shippmate lunch date location, circa 2011-2012 where many a profound conversation was had over turkey subs.
Clues involved center aisle, wooden pew, perfect stained glass and a couple of inside jokes I will not disclose lol.
He knew immediately he was heading for the church we got married in!
HOWEVER…. he immediately went in PANIC MODE because he saw the first word was “with” and thought the next word was going to be “CHILD” and this was some sort of bday pregnancy announcement he wasn’t prepared for LOL!!!!
And to quote my Shippmate, “It was parents’ weekend (read: TRAFFIC) and a LONG drive from Quiznos to our church thinking that….”
Oh, the romantic and the special was already on the decline.
But he got to the church to find no “child” but an appropriate “wed” instead.
(maybe I should have rode along after all lol)
This card said, “where I said I do, and I still do!” And some sappy stuff about how giddy I get every time I drive by that place where the most magical day ever happened, etc.
It also led him to his next clue which was at the place we called home for the first few years of marriage. I wrote about some quality moments we had there and sent him to The 402!
From here, I sent him to a place we’ve done so much ministry together– youth, engaged couples’ panel, women’s, worship, hosting, Awanas, VBS, Kaleo… so many amazing, amazing memories here together growing not just closer to each other but to Jesus, too.
Because our church has about a million entrances, I gave him some clue as to where to look…
I called Amy in the middle of hanging all the signs explaining I should have maybe thought through the order a bit better, because the sign that would hang in our church also had the clues leading to the next location which just so happened to be the backseat of Ryan’s car LOL!
Because well…. yeah.
Funny enough, this one was tricky for Ryan, but only because I hid the “thee” under some of that stuff that isn’t normally in the backseat of our car, so he had to text me for a clue which of course I then sent him a Ludacris You Tube link.
This last clue led him to the place we first met!
Which in 2008 was an ice cream shop that unfortunately but kind of hilariously has now become an electronic cigarette shop.
The romance keeps getting sweeter and sweeter, yes?
I did find it incredibly romantic and sentimental that I was sitting waiting for him in the exact spot he was sitting and waiting for me in April of 2008.
Not only that, but when we first met, we walked over to Subway to share a sub, so I was sitting waiting with the last sign, the ring sizer symbol of his gift, annnnd the same kind of sub we shared 6 years ago.
Someone “awwww” out loud for me, since my dear Shippmate did not. ;)
Well, because really— what says HAPPY 28 better than that “vapor up” sign behind me???
Ryan looked SO stressed pulling up to me, so you can imagine the sheer terror on his face when I got down on one knee with the ring sizer thing!
Ahhahahahaha, I’m kind of dying just reliving it all.
He said, “So- are you not pregnant???”
Oh, my favorite Shippmate. We ate our turkey sub, figured out his ring size before returning my borrowed prop to Glasscock, and then had a great time at lunch doing what we do best– eating and talking and laughing.
I was disappointed for about a minute and 35 seconds that he didn’t cry at my grand romantic and sentimental gestures and thought– “eh, I’ll blog about it and someone with more estrogen will enjoy this idea with me instead.”
And let me tell you– THAT, my friends is what you call growth in a marriage! Because 4 birthdays ago of his, I might have been devastated if he didn’t react like I would have reacted to such a thing.
But in 4 fabulous years of marriage, I’ve learned my Shippmate and I are different about birthdays and gifts and grand gestures. And that’s okay.
As long as he gets it all perfectly romantically right in a week for my 30th that is.
Hahahahhaahah, I kid.
I love him so much, and honestly I loved every minute of my scavenger hunt and hours later he said he actually would have too and did love the thoughtful and sweet of it but just felt very stressed about not knowing what he was unscrambling!
And the real good news is— a ring is on the way to signal to all the ladies that he’s a mine!
I’ve been smiling about it ever since, and it’s somehow already Friday.
Whoever said the days would be long but the years quick was not living my life. The days fly by and I can’t even begin to think what that means is happening to the years. Maybe it works in reverse– if the days fly by, the years will pass slowly? Ha.
It was such a day.
Really I suppose it started with Monday evening when June and I met Grammy for our annual girls’ trip to get fall candles and soaps!
Oh, I love all the seasons– I really really do and my appreciation for the change and wonderful each season in Missouri brings could be an entire post of its own really– but my favorite season for scents is just hands down the pumpkins and promise of the fall.
Last year, June was not even a month old when I insisted she start fall scent shopping early with me and her Grammy.
It was such a perfect evening with my two favorite gals. The kind of good talks over Spin, fall festive fun at Bath and Body Works and then Kirklands, too that you leaves you just in happy tears driving home.
Not only that, but the joy continued on to Tuesday as I was so very, very giddy to get my fall candles burning and soaps a sudsing.
I spent the morning getting out fall decorations, and I’m just going to say it– I think I nearly enjoy decorating for fall as much I do for Christmas. I don’t know if it’s because it’s my birthday month or just such a special time of year, but I have a total weakness when it comes to Halloween decor. It just makes me so giddy.
My friend Kristin pointed out there is just something about fall and fireplaces, and I hadn’t realized this is my first fall with a fireplace, and I had so much fun adding some fall to it!
Especially in the form of these adorable ghosts June helped me pick out!
I’m truly no kind of decorator, but I really had a blast moving stuff around and getting it all put together AND June was such sweet help.
Grammy and Pa gave June and Roman both pumpkins last weekend, and June has been SO excited about hers. It was initally outside, and she would stand at our window saying, “pum-pum” and asking to go see it, so as I was decorating I decided to just move it on in. When she woke up from her nap and saw the “pum-pum” AND her ghosts were in the living room, she literally SQUEALED in delight, and rushed over to kiss and play with both of them.
Oh, her enthusiasm for my decorations and all things fall couldn’t have been any sweeter.
I’m getting ahead of myself though.
Before nap time, there was much goodness to be had.
First of all, let’s start with waking up to The Shippmate bringing us breakfast! (not in bed, because I’ve never been a fan of that idea lol– I like to eat my meals at a table, thankyouverymuch)
When I had loved so much about my Tuesday, I had actually forgotten– until just now- that it started with Ry bringing me breakfast as a surprise, so maybe that is the magic formula for all magical days lol.
Anyway, so he brings me breakfast because it’s raining and he has a break in the morning before he is going back to work and gets right to work on THIS:
We haven’t had TV since last May, and it hasn’t been a huge problem during the summer, because I rarely watch TV in the summer, because I’d rather be outside reading in the glorious sun.
BUT– I DO like fall TV and I especially love winter TV lol.
So, I was very, very, VERY excited about this. My Uncle Tom had suggested the problem might be it just needs to be higher, so Ryan made something work and with the help of his dad got it CRAZY high AND WE HAVE ALL CHANNELS NOW!!!!
(And by “all” I, of course, mean all the basic channels lol. Which after having zero feels like everything, so I’m giddy as can be.)
We had a good visit with Sam and he got to see June eat pizza like the crazy wild woman she is, so that was just lovely, and then him and Ryan went back to work while Junie’s bed was calling her for her afternoon nap.
During June’s nap time was when I was able to get the house all beautified for fall and Halloween WITH THE TV ON!!!!
You just can’t fully appreciate something until you’ve gone without if for awhile lol.
June woke up just in time to join me in the sweetest dance of a reunion with our favorite Ellen!
Part of getting out fall decorations is unpacking the beautiful Lenox pumpkin candy dish my Nanny gave me 4 years ago. It is– and always will be– my favorite fall decoration to get out, because with it, I can nearly hear Nanny whispering to me how she picked it out just for me. It’s so dainty and wonderful and just had me especially missing her.
June and I had been grocery shopping earlier in the morning, and it was just one of those grocery trips where everything went smoothly. June was content to just wave at everyone she saw, my lists were organized, lines were short– truly a painless trip to get everything we needed.
On the way home, after I had already had Nanny on my mind from unpacking my sweet candy dish from her, a favorite of Nanny’s in Conway Twitty came on the radio. I just lost it.
Tears were flowing and it was one of those moments in life when you just physically feel the absence of someone you love so deeply, so profoundly that it actually hurts.
And June. Oh, my Baby June. She literally looked up at in me in our mirrors and just gave me the most precious wave (you can find it on FB or Instagram and see the sweetness for yourself) almost as if to say, “Hey Mama- it’s okay– I love ya and I’m waving to my Nanny in heaven, too.”
Oh, she’s the light of my life, and I just can’t describe how much her little face and smile and wave were just what I needed in that moment.
Everything about the morning, the noon time, the afternoon had been perfection.
After some dancing with Ellen and Junie, we got to work on dinner before The Shippmate would be home.
I know I complain about cooking and don’t do it nearly often enough, but there are moments, like on Tuesday, when it feels so right.
So maternal, so nurturing, and so very Bree Van deCamp lol.
Naturally in the spirit of Tuesday’s perfection, it was one of those days when it all just felt right.
I made this little bucket for her to pull things out of, and it kept her entertained for the entire time I was making our soup. Which maybe doesn’t sound like much of a big deal, but as a mom, it felt like I was absolutely winning.
As I’m writing this post about this “beyond perfect day,” I am not blind to realizing there is nothing that extraordinary about any of it.
But that’s the beauty of it really… it’s the average and common of Tuesdays that are filled with successful grocery shopping and cooking with your baby girl, fall decor and aroma filling the house, and just a celebration of the daily of our lives.
Sometimes I look around this sweet home of ours with my favorite Baby June and my Shippmate too, and I just can’t believe this gets to be my life.
I’m so beyond thankful that it is my job to teach and love and live life with June daily. And while there are many a days when I’m no superstar of a housewife, on such a Tuesday as this with a spotless house, everything decorated and smelling like fall, soup and bread warm on the table, and June happy as can be when The Shippmate walks in the door…
It’s one worthy of writing home about. It’s the kind of Tuesday I want to remember always.
Just days after moving in, I was in our finished basement, vacuuming the carpet. I vacuumed multiple times across the carpet, all the while praying, “Jesus- I know you have purpose for this space… I don’t know if it’s 13 middle school girls for a Big Weekend or a small group or a Bible study we’re meant to led… but I just see so much good coming from this basement specifically. Show us how we can serve you best with this basement.”
(and then I made a joke with God about being very Jen Hatmaker and hiding in the basement eating my Chik-fil-A, but that’s just between me and JC– He gets my humor)
Well, fast forward to just a week or so after that talk between me and Jesus and our plans for the basement, and that basement would find itself very, very flooded.
Not just from rain- no, no, no– SEWAGE.
That freshly vacuumed carpet that I had been so excited to see host overnight guests, youth playing Mafia, and big talks about Jesus? Oh it was absolutely and 100% soaked in sewage.
At the time, I was too annoyed and grossed out to really see what had just happened. I think I also was enduring my second round of mastitis and just not in the mood nor frame of mind to patiently step back and see the big picture.
But, tonight– my eyes couldn’t see it clearer.
As we were hurrying home from an incredible discussion with our life group that I love so dearly so that we could open our home to some guys Ryan has been meeting with to discuss ministry and Jesus, it was almost as if the obvious of what had happened was hanging on a sign outside of our home.
Satan is real. He’s so annoyingly and horribly real.
He knew Jesus and I had big plans for that basement and he literally crapped all over them. (Hey! My husband’s a plumber- I’ve got sewage-esque jokes that won’t stop.)
It’s times when I have the best and nearest moments with Jesus that Satan is so quickly around the corner, and when I get to look back at it like I am tonight, I actually delight in his sad attempts!
It’s almost literal proof he fears what good God can bring in our sweet home.
Oh, Satan– you should be very, very afraid. Intimidated. Down right annoyed, because my God wins every time.
Tonight? Tonight as I’m typing there are six men in my basement and their reason for meeting is nothing short of the cross and to discuss and glorify the Jesus that died for us.
I haven’t felt so giddy in ages. (And let’s be real– we all know I get giddy pretty easily. Like yesterday when I randomly painted my door blue. IT IS AMAZING!)
Back to this giddy though… I mean my heart was just bursting earlier as we hurried in our home– where my brother and one of the other guys were actually already here and waiting– and I ran downstairs to quickly tidy things up a bit.
The basement? It’s not perfect. In fact, it’s a far cry from it.
But Ryan and I decided until we have the finances to really fix it up, for now we are going to do the very best with what we have.
And truth be told, that looks a little bit like this:
And you’re seeing the tiniest portion of carpet that we salvaged.
Every Wednesday night when the guys meet, it’s my own little contribution to run down before they embrace the beauty of our once finished basement and light some candles, because well– what group of guys doesn’t want the sweet aroma of fall to discuss manly and godly things by candlelight? Hahahaha.
Our basement is so far from fancy, but tonight- I was so honored, so humbled that Jesus let it be the space for His work to be done.
As the guys filed down the stairs, June and I even threw in a pizza (frozen, of course) before she went to bed that I delivered down to the guys with some drinks and cookies.
Nothing delights my heart more than seeing the devil defeated by my Jesus.
Especially in the form of such awesome guys eating frozen pizza by candlelight in our formerly finished basement.
So I’ve been meaning to blog for days. Specifically, I have had a blog I wanted to write since Tuesday.
And it’s Friday.
Here’s the thing– if I don’t start writing the minute nap time begins, it probably won’t happen.
So today, because I was dying to revive this space of the Internet I call My Dyer-E, I decided to forget the laundry that is yet to be folded and the lunch dishes that are dirty in the sink, so that I could utilize June’s nap time to write.
And ahhhh, I’m so happy to be here.
(Just to be clear, I did NOT come here before sweeping the kitchen floor, putting all toys away, and cleaning off the table and countertops, because well– I can’t focus with an actual mess around here and my writing time will be much more peaceful this way.)
So, back to Tuesday. It was seriously the kind of day you just have to blog about— it was so perfect in every way, and I’ve just been so eager to get here to tell you about it, but before I could, well today happened.
And funny enough, when I had drafted Tuesday’s blog in my mind (oh, if only all the blogs I draft in my mind could make it to the keyboard lol) I kind of felt like it would be an unfair representation of being a SAHM to report on just such a day without a disclaimer that there are less perfect days intermingled among my week, too.
And then God gave me today so that I could prove that!
Today. I mean, it’s nothing actually bad. In fact, I text a friend I had to cancel meeting today and said to pray for me, but that it wasn’t anything serious– just several annoying things combined. Basically several annoying #firstworldproblems if you will.
If you’re my friend on Facebook or Instagram (I know, I know– I’m abandoning my former ways of only having one social media outlet lol and yes, it’s just as exhausting as I imagined it would be) you already know that we are currently car shopping. (I might have posted a time or 22 about it, because well- you know- that’s me.)
This car shopping thing started as The Shippmate and I being super proactive and ahead of the game. Just realizing that both of our cars have 160k-ish miles, neither are in the grandest of conditions, and a little more space in the form of a cool SUV that I’ve always wanted could be fun.
Because we weren’t in dire need of a car, it’s been pretty low key and non-stressful of a search. Including but not limited to me offering Car Guy Steve a straight up trade for both of our old cars for a nearly new decked out SUV with leather heated seats. (Spoiler alert- He declined.)
However, as if Ryan’s car (and the one we drive all the time in the summer because it has something my car does not have in the form of AC) sensed it was being under-appreciated, it decided to show us and start leaking major oil and bring about a sound that made us think it was more of a ticking time bomb than we thought.
Which wasn’t even a huge deal, because it’s cooler out, and I MUCH prefer my car, so this morning I decided to just move all June’s stuff to my car that hadn’t been driven since May-ish. As I was doing this and cleaning my car out during The Switch, I was reminded how much I actually love that car of mine and thought to myself that maybe we could just save the thousands of dollars cars apparently cost and just live happily ever after in my Focus that I really do love. With this thought in mind, I spent quite a bit of time cleaning it up and making it nice and wonderful which was pretty tricky with a very active June being less help than she was adorable.
And then we get in it to leave, and I’m feeling so noble and smart about this new idea to just drive what we have and abandon my dreams of being some kind of cool mom in a black SUV, and I start the car to see the clock and radio and everything decides NOW– after I’ve just tried to rekindle my romance with the dear Focus— that it should all quit me.
And you know, on the one hand, I drove in silence (well no- not silence, as June was screaming for me to turn on her CD for the entire ride) thinking that our cars really were being pretty clever to try to spite us for trying to get rid of them by quitting us first. Like when you’re in middle school and you get word your “boyfriend” is going to break up with you after school so you hurry up and write him a note breaking up with him first! That felt like what our cars decided to do to us, and so I nearly wanted to justify their actions.
Until I thought– NO! It would have been so much smarter for you, my favorite Focus, to not only NOT have some fuse problem leaving us with no lights, clock, radio, but rather for you to have tried to prove yourself by bringing back the AC that hasn’t worked for years!
I tried to explain this to my car, but no telling if she heard me with June screaming obscenities from her seat about the fact we couldn’t listen to “Just Around The River Bend.”
Which eventually led to me singing Pocahontas songs to her, which come to find out, she maybe enjoys more than the CD!
Maybe this no radio thing might work out after all.
And I know you’re just dying to hear about my Tuesday, but I decided it deserves a post of its own, so I’m going to just let this post be the ramblings of my “bad” morning that now as I’m sitting on my couch with the quilt my mom made Baby June for her bday (I promise June will eventually get to use this comfy treasure, Mom) and fall candles burning with my stomach full from lunch, nothing about it really even seems that bad.
Oh, but I did leave out the part where a collections agency called me and demanded my $42 from when I had to visit two separate ERs for mastitis and when we got to the 36 minute bottom of that whole thing she saw that all bills had been accidentally billed to the wrong address due to a typo. Excellent. It’s always fun to be reminded on the nearly one year anniversary of the terror mastitis was with somehow still owing people money for it.
Anyway, I’m glad to be back after a nearly month unwanted hiatus from this blog, and I’m sure you’re all glad I’m back too what with this very random rambling of my “rough” day.
Stay tuned for tales from a Tuesday… coming soon.
I recently was talking to a friend who is almost due (yaaay Tiff!) about the fact that June had to be taken from me immediately because of meconium, and I said how at the time it didn’t seem too stressful. They assured me all would be fine as soon as they used something to make sure her throat and nose were clear, but that I did know it delayed the time from delivery to her on my chest, so I went back to the pictures to see just how long that wait was.
Turns out it was 6 minutes.
You can see from tonight’s pictures that it was 6 minutes on top of 9 months that I didn’t even know I’d been waiting a lifetime for…
And 364 days later, it’s still such a joy to have that baby so close and snuggled up to me.
As we were getting ready for Camp June tomorrow, my mom asked what she could do right then to help.
I needed to be working on my picture project, so I said, “Would you take care of June’s nails and toenails for me?”
I glanced across the table and saw my Shippmate make a face that he didn’t think I saw, but I’m pretty sure it was mocking me for one year later STILL passing off the task of trimming June’s nails!
Initially, Ry was The Master at clipping those baby nails, but lately, my mom has taken over and trimmed that baby girl’s nails to perfection.
I’m actually not kidding that I don’t think I’ve done her nails or toenails once all summer lol. Grammy and June have their own little system– June in her high chair with a book or blueberries or maybe both while Grammy gets her readers on and goes to work!
It’s adorable, and I’ve peeked around the corner to just admire the process a time or two this summer…
June Harbor Shippy’s INSANELY long fingernails at birth!
All I could think when I saw those bad boys was my girl Juno saying: “Babies have fingernails?!”
Oh Juno, do they ever.
These precious nails are even more beautiful to me today than they were almost a year ago. And I think by the looks of them, no one should be questioning why I love to recruit a Shippmate or a Grammy to assist with such a task.
Oh, but An August in June is coming to an end rather quickly.
But just a couple more days before this year will wrap up and a celebration will conclude what has single-handedly been the best year of my life.
Because there are only 24 days to commence such a day as the one in which my June was born, I’m absolutely breaking my own rules and including more than one picture tonight.
As it’s already late and I’m tired (I called my dad earlier and he answered- “Camp June Central here…” HA! So much excitement and preparation in store for CAMP JUNE– both at Camp headquarters and here at our off-site location in Warrensburg, too!) (and with LOTS of graphic help being outsourced from a very, very dear Auntie Cate in Portland) I’m going to let my words be few this evening and let these pictures tell the story.
A story that could very appropriately be titled “The Many Admirers of June Harbor Shippy: In Her First 48 Hours of Life.”
It’s a story with the finest and most loving of characters. Well, here– you’ll see…
This isn’t a picture of June from her Birth Day, but rather a picture of her on her Due Date!
She was nice and cozy and not wanting to share her birthday with her daddy’s beloved Ron Paul.
I felt great and enjoyed the last of our doctor appointment dates with some On The Border and ice cream with my Shippmate afterwards.
I thought life couldn’t get any better really.
Oh, but to be so naive and silly…
With my Royals being #1 in the AL Central and very officially owning the label “the hottest team in baseball,” this picture seemed only appropriate.
Like if a single gesture could speak my love languages on every level, this might be it.
A homemade sign made just for my Baby June? I LOVE!
At my home away from home that I’ve referred to as a sanctuary of a field for me? I LOVE!
Posted on my timeline ON the night of her birthday for all of the world to see June’s personalized love at The K? I LOVE!
The fact it doesn’t just say “Welcome June” but “Welcome BABY June” which I didn’t even know yet but would soon become my favorite little thing to call her? I LOVE!
Truly, I love Ryan’s family so much. They’re just such intelligent, beautiful, and thoughtful people that I appreciate greatly.
I’m so glad June has them loving on her.
I don’t even know how this idea came to be or how they thought to get poster board and markers at the stadium that night and make it happen, but the entire hoopla of a process that went into it just makes me smile such a giddy true blue LET’S GO ROYALS (clap-clap, clap-clap-clap) kind of smile.
I can’t wait to share with my Baby June that mere hours after entering this world, she was already being welcomed at (what will soon be) her favorite stadium.
It was truly a Royal announcement I will never forget!
After June’s 1st bath on her Birth Day, I remember being so amused that the nurse gave my June her very own “hair towel.”
It might have been one of my first moments of thinking, “like mother, like daughter.”
A thought– and an honor– I now think daily!
Have you ever seen a sweeter freshly bathed brand new to this world face?