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06.12.15 1 Comment

When Right Is Wrong For Us.

Bedtime is generally pretty painless and flawless with June– we have a routine, we do it, she so sweetly bids us farewell and good night and I love yous as either Ryan or I leave the room.

No tears, no fits– just good times all around.

Well tonight, I left right before she was going down to get my nightly free cup of ice at Dairy Queen (I keep expecting them to say it’s no longer free but every night it still is) and when I pulled in the driveway and got out of the car, I could hear her crying!

ZERO PERCENT NORMAL.

I hurried up the stairs and Ryan said she was just not wanting to go to bed and upset.

Here is where I think a couple of things can happen and I’m not even saying one is right or wrong, but just sharing what I have found works for me and June.

I could let her cry.  I seriously doubt she would cry and be upset all night, I know she’s safe (hello, monitor) and probably all would be well.

But, I don’t want to do that.

And this is NOT a post to call out or ridicule any mom that would let their toddler stay in there and cry until they went to sleep. I do not even think you’re wrong or a bad mom or ANYTHING OF THE SUCH.

I just know that when I first had June, I thought there was some “right” way to do things and I questioned myself if I was doing things the “right” way, and 21 months into this business, I have such a different confidence about how very little importance a “right or wrong” way is as opposed to what is best for US!

And what’s best for my heart and my June is not for me to let her cry like that.

So I went in, scooped her up, and talked to my girl.

She said she wasn’t ready yet.  I explained it was bedtime and Daddy had done all of her steps with her, so really– it WAS time to go to sleep.

She was having trouble calming herself down and was just unusually upset (again- 363 nights out of 365 there are ZERO tears and only smiles as she goes to bed) so I kissed her and rocked her and said, “Would it be a good idea if we went back into the living room and you watched a couple minutes of Tiger with a snack before trying to come to go night night?”

Through little calming whimpers she said, “Yes, Mommy.  Good idea.  Let’s do it!”

So we did.

She was all smiles and greeted The Shippmate with an enthusiastic and sweet (and really not smug) “Hi Daddy! I’m back!” and thankfully Ryan is patient with me and her both and wasn’t even annoyed at my idea to let her come back out for a few minutes.

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She sat in her chair, sweet as can be, enjoyed a couple minutes of Tiger with her peanut butter sandwich (and Sonic water from earlier lol) and then I came over to her and said, “Okay, Baby Girl- our deal was a couple of minutes and then we’d go to sleep with all smiles and no crying!  Can we do it together now?”

I literally cannot even articulate the precious her face looked as she said, “Yes, Mommy. I love you.  Night night time.”

She snuggled all up to me as I carried her to her room where she went down so peaceful, so content, and so sweetly.

Before I put her down in her crib, I said a quick prayer over her– thanking Jesus for this dream of a baby girl He gave me and as she echoed my “Amen!” I couldn’t help but walk out of that room with my hand to my heart George Banks style.

I don’t know that my method is “right.”  In fact, the pediatrician that told me I had ruined her at 6 months would probably scold every step of what I did tonight.  (If you missed that good time, you can read more about it HERE.)

What I do know is that I know my June better than anyone in this world.  I really believe that.

I believe that when I hear cries from a Baby June that is never upset, I get to make a call to cater to her a little bit.

I came out of her room patting myself on the back a bit for a job well done, because let’s face it–

Motherhood is a job with few colleagues around to notice your hard work, lots of critics, and minimal monetary compensation.

And yet– it’s my very favorite job of all time.

No other job– and I’ve had quite a few– has brought me such joy, such pride, and such giddy as being June’s Mom.

I’ll forever be grateful for my firstborn girl that made a Mama out of me.

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And June– while I might not always get it “right,” I promise you that together– with your stellar Shippmate of a Daddy, too– we’ll always figure out what’s best for us.

I love you, Baby Girl.

06.10.15 18 Comments

The Best Day With You.

Today was one of those days I just knew I would stay up late and blog about.

Not because anything extraordinary or stressful or live-changing happened, but just because it was the kind of day I think Taylor Swift is singing about when she is talking about her and her mom having The Best Day together.

I have so many of these with my June, so I could nearly write this post everyday, but I chose today.

Which also works out, because it turns out today is apparently National Best Friend Day.

Which is fun, because I’ve always said to June since the beginning of our times together, “Are you my best friend?”  or  “You’re my bestest friend, Junie Bee!”

It’s just one of our many things we share, and now she will say back to me, “Yes!  My mommy, my best friend.”

Which because I’m a mess of a third trimester woman, I’m completely crying typing that out.

I love her so much, and I also love the way SHE loves ME so much.  I’m not even trying to brag, but I’m pretty sure I’m her favorite person.

And this is actually quite the honor because my girl loves A LOT of people.

Anyway, I’m getting off topic– back to today!

We were going on our very first pool date of the 2015 season with our friends Krystal (or if you ask June, “Sickle” — even though we’ve very much covered that she can say “Krystal” but chooses to call Krystal “Sickle” lol) and Malachi at 1pm, and we had some serious grocery shopping to get done before that pool date.

Maybe that doesn’t sound like that busy of a morning, but when June Harbor doesn’t wake up until almost 10am, it puts a little more crunch in the time between breakfast and a 1pm pool date!

But with help like this, grocery shopping always flies by:

IMG_9166 (Yeah, I’m pretty sure that little romper is a bit too small, but we had never had a chance to wear it yet, so I was determined to squeeze one wear out of it.)

Grocery shopping seriously is so fun with her.  She helps me pick out stuff and we talk about all of the vegetables and fruits and which are our favorites.

I cannot count the number of people who will stop and ask me how old she is because they can’t believe the big sentences coming out of a little girl.

She truly is such a good talker, and it’s so much fun hearing all of the things she has to say.

We got home just in time to unload the groceries, put away the cold stuff only, rinse and eat all the blueberries lol, and then get sunscreen ready for the pool!

June and I have talked about the pool a lot in the last couple of weeks when we drive by, but she’s never really had much of a pool experience, but she was confident it was going to be “SO FUN!  POOL TIME!  SICKLE, MALACHI– SWIM!”

She was talking faster than ever with much enthusiasm on our drive there, but when we arrived, she got a little overwhelmed!

IMG_9182There were lots of people and all new things and people splashing and running…. just not what my little Juniper had been picturing!

We stalled the entrance into the madness with a quick Malachi and June photo shoot:

IMG_9197 IMG_9192 IMG_9201And then we headed in to the kid section of the pool.

As a veteran lifeguard of nearly a decade of saving lives and living at the pool, as I held her little hand and entered the water with my Baby June, I started to feel a little overwhelmed myself!

Every boy appeared to be playing a little too rough for my liking, big kids were sprinting around with no regard to my precious cargo in her pretty pink and navy anchor suit, and the water looked a little deeper than I would deem safe for my baby!

There is never any guessing what June is feeling with her very animated expressions, and her little face looked so annoyed as each kid ran by, splashing water on her.  She looked up at me a couple of times and said, “Mama, no like this!  Too much!”

So we retreated to the lazy river, which she and Malachi both enjoyed!  I will say that getting in a tube with my belly and my toddler… not as easy as it was once to plop down in those tubes with my book and a bikini!

We eventually tried out the big pool before heading back over to the kids’ section where I was pretty sure June was going to declare “too much” once again and maybe we wouldn’t come back until the morning sessions when it was just toddlers.

And then June spotted some big girl friends of hers.

Lauren and Jillian are 8 and 5 and very experienced at the whole pool scene.

Immediately, they were encouraging June to play and splash and get in the water.  I saw such a quick change in June’s demeanor… still a bit timid toward the whole idea, but clearly more intrigued.

Over the course of the next 30 minutes, I watch her confidence and bravery double as Lauren and Jill so sweetly took her alongside them to play and figure out this whole pool thing.

(And by watch, I don’t mean laying out in a chair, but as in watched her like a hawk from about 2 feet away from her at all times!)

The whole transition from June thinking the pool was “too much” to by the end of our time there thinking it was TOO MUCH FUN started with June playing catch with the girls…. near the water:

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Eventually, it only made sense to get her feet wet and it wouldn’t be long until they’d somehow even convinced her to get her hair and face wet!

IMG_9235 IMG_9261 IMG_9263 IMG_9237 IMG_9214I just can’t articulate how proud it makes me to watch June try new things and make friends and step a little more into the water.

(Or how thankful I was for the kind and precious friends she has in Lauren and Jillian who were so patient and wonderful with my June.)

I am so forever grateful it’s my full-time job to be her mom and learn so much about her by watching her and studying her and marveling at the way her mind and heart works.

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It was such a sweet first trip to the pool together, and I love that I thought we were going to leave and hardly ever come back at about 2pm, and we ended up playing and swimming and having so much fun that we weren’t leaving until almost 4pm!

I didn’t get a picture of it, but since our pool endeavors had become a little more adventurous and involved getting quite wet, I realized we needed to dry off a bit before heading home and we were both pretty hungry so we headed over to the snack stand before leaving.  We shared a pretzel and cheese and as the two of us sat there in our swimsuits licking the cheese out of the container with our fingers, I thought to myself, “Does life get any better than this?”

I adore my adventures with my favorite girl in the whole world.

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Oh June-

Today was so much fun.

I love waking up to your voice saying, “Mama?  Mama, come get me!  Good morning- glad to see you!”

I love the way you “zoom” all around Wal-Mart out of the cart, because I’m a total pushover.

I love the way everywhere you go you make friends and people stop to ask how someone so little can speak such clear and big sentences.

I love the way you were so excited to go to the pool before you even really knew what was going on and the way you clung to me when you were scared and cheered with me when you were so excited by how fun it turned out to be.

I love the way you suggested we finish that cheese with our “fingers, Mommy? Lick them like Abby and ‘Aggie teach me?”

I love your bold and brave personality that has such a tender and soft side, too.

You’re my absolute favorite, and just like Taylor sings–

“I didn’t know if you knew
So I’m taking this chance to say
That I had the best day with you today.”

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06.8.15 3 Comments

A Raccoon IN. MY. HOUSE.

It’s 11:35pm, and I’ve had such a full day of church and family time before coming home to get ready to go to my cousins’ dance recital with my parents and Grandma Wanda, and I’m just entirely too tired for a good last EVERYDAY IN MAY post tonight like I would want it be, so I’m going to come back tomorrow and for a better last post.

But just a quick story.

That I can’t promise isn’t being typed in a near sleepen state, because I’m so dang tired and I know sleepen isn’t a word, but I’m leaving it.  There will likely be other typos or made up words, so forgive me.

So some of you might have seen me post this TERROR of a pic on my FB/Instagram last week:

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I literally HATE that I have to re-look at that thing to even share it here for this story.

I was utterly shocked as comment by comment came in from my FB post of people saying LUDICROUS and CRAZY things like, “So cute!!!” etc. etc. disgust-o etc.

It seriously made me re-think people I thought I knew.

(I’m mostly kidding but SERIOUSLY– that thing??!  On your welcome mat?!  WHO WOULD FIND IT CUTE?!?!?!?)

Anyway, I was all kind of frightened and grossed out, but tried to picture it running far away and never returning.

Until.

Until this morning.  I get to church with June, and The Shippmate had to go early for worship team practice, so after the music he sits down with me and I am so sorry to both God and the pastor, but I straight up missed the first part of the sermon due to Ryan whispering to me the worst story of my residence here at this house.

So apparently my Shippmate was leaving this morning– as in pulling out of the driveway– when he saw the garage shutting and something that looked like a furry black stuffed animal by the door.

THANK THE DEAR LORD ABOVE he did not ignore this “stuffed animal” and kept watching to see that right before it shut, THE “STUFFED ANIMAL” MOVED!!!!!!

Because OH YES– it was that HORRIBLE DISGUSTING AND NOT CUTE but huge raccoon that had been sitting on my welcome mat last week!!!

IT. WAS. IN. OUR. GARAGE.

I can’t even.

So Ryan has to get out and open the garage to find this stupid raccoon NOT moving but rather wanting to hang out in our garage?!?!?!?!?!

Which seems SO not normal and scary and horrible to me, but anyway, The Shippmate being the man’s man he is found a rake or something and figured out how to get the rodent out of our beloved home.

Kind of, because it then ran under our porch where I guess it lives?!?!

WHY!?!!?!

Gaaaaaaah.  I hate the wildlife.

Can we all just take a minute to realize that the way our home is that literally if my favorite man in all of the world wouldn’t have noticed that disgusting tail then that huge raccoon could have been UPSTAIRS and creeping around our dear home while June and I slept!?!?

It would be another 2 hours before June and I woke up after Ryan left, and I mean– I just can’t even FATHOM waking up to that horrible creature in my room!

I’ve been gone all day, but I received an update from The Shippmate that he and the neighbor (and June lol) were setting traps and I don’t even know, but I DO know that all of our doors are shut and I’m sleeping with one eye open tonight, because I love snuggling up to my Shippmate in bed BUT I DIE AT THE THOUGHT OF THIS FACE IN MY BED.

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On that note, good night to all and good riddance to raccoons everywhere.

05.31.15 11 Comments

The 2% of Petty and Annoying.

I love social media.

Clearly, hence the blog.

I enjoy multiple aspects of FB, I’m always up for a good read on other people’s blogs, and I’ve recently tried to figure out the cool of Instagram and so far just feel like it’s a repeat of my FB feed, but I’m still waiting for the magic to grace me before deleting it lol.

I defend social media when people want to say it’s all bad, because I don’t think guns kill people, but people kill people and likewise the invention of the Internet is not to blame for people making poor decisions on it.

However.

(my mom has to be secretly cheering that I am going to throw her a bone here and agree there MIGHT be some negative to social media– hahahaha)

However, sometimes social media can make things tricky.

I would go to say that 98% of the time, I love it.  I love seeing people’s lives and pictures and prayer requests.  I love seeing new date ideas or restaurants I might otherwise never know about.  I love seeing people love each other.  I love seeing people succeed on journeys to lose weight.  I love seeing other people’s homes and kids and routines of their lives.  Oh, and there’s nothing I love more than celebrating a big moment with someone that might only be a friend via the world wide web– be it their sweet wedding, clever pregnancy announcement, or my all-time favorite of stalking their page like none other when you know a baby is coming!  There is truly so much I adore about statuses and pictures and all things social media.

But every once in a 2% you see something or notice something or read into something that feels a little not fun.

I’ll be so honest to say I’ve seen people I care about and I’m intentional with seem to not care back.  I’ve seen people that maybe don’t know all of a situation saying things with some passive aggression that is just unfortunate.

Or sometimes– can anyone else be so vulnerable to admit that you’ve seen someone write something and thought, “Are they writing that AT me??”

I rarely feel that way, and if I dare did experience that feeling more, I would totally get why some people have to take breaks from FB or quit it altogether, because it’s not fun or enjoyable, so I’m thankful it’s a once in a blue moon feeling for me, but still…. when it happens, dang– it’s not fun.

I was reminded tonight of two things–

1.  When you start to take something that wasn’t written directly to you personal or feel like maybe it was written AT you, the first thing I find important is to look yourself in the mirror and say-  “Okay, sister– get over yourself.  You’re not that important.  There are a million and two people in this world and you are but one of them.”

That little pep talk always is a must.  It’s a solid wake up call and reminder everyone needs to have when these kind of annoying feelings creep up.

It also reminds me that I so UNINTENTIONALLY could have made someone feel this way from something I’ve written and not meant to.  Or something I’ve NOT written in how horrible I can be at private messages on FB.  I actually just now thought of three different people I have so wanted to write back and haven’t– WITH NOTHING PERSONAL about it besides I haven’t had a chance.

So it truly is important to remember– especially if you’re as observant of a soul as I am lol– you could be reading into ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

But because I also feel like I’m pretty selective in feeling this way and pretty good at reading people, I will give you a step #2– just in case your feelings are “valid.”

2.  Because seriously— this second step is THE most important.

I then remind myself my identity is not found in what someone else thinks!

So let’s just go down the rabbit hole and say someone is being pointed and passive aggressive– and about a situation they don’t even know the half of– here’s the beauty of it…

It’s straight up out of your control.  It’s out of your realm to worry about.

My identity is so sacredly and thankfully found in Jesus Christ alone.

Just typing that out calms my heart so much.

I care about people in a deep and intense kind of way, which is just as dangerous as it is awesome at times.  I want people to know my heart and intentions.  I want people to know the whole story.  Truth is so important to me that I daydream of living in the Candor Faction where everyone is honest and open with each other– THAT IS MY HAPPY PLACE.

But the real world operates on people not communicating and avoiding issues– often making them bigger and sadder, and that’s stressful for me.

So I have a choice– I can stew and worry and wonder what some people think from a perception or from one angle of a situation– and every once in awhile I choose to do just that.  It is never fulfilling.  It is never peaceful.  And in that comes so very little contentment.

But the other choice?  The one where I give it over to God and say with a burdened heart— “God- YOU know my heart.  You know the truth and You ARE the truth.  Let me remember that my identity is not found in what this person thinks or believes, but it’s found solely in Jesus Christ.”

HOLY PEACE AND CONTENT AND JOY IS FOUND IN THAT KIND OF LOVE!

Do you know how huge that is to grasp that???  Do you know how life-changing it is?   How much freedom there is in that kind of promise?

Here’s the really cool thing… 98% of the time I’m walking around loving life without a care in this kind of petty world… which is great and fun and awesome.

BUT that 2% of the time that I see something and get a little bothered or upset?

Those times are ALWAYS– EVERY SINGLE TIME– when I dig in The Word, step up my prayer time, and seek Jesus first with such a grateful heart.

So in short– those annoying and petty times?  Always give God glory.

To the point that I honest to goodness find myself THANKING Jesus for the annoying moment that led me to remembering such big truths and peace I can only find in Him.

Which means, even in the 2% of petty and annoying, I can’t even hate social media. (Sorry, Mom.)

I’m going to end with three different sets of words I love.

First, a solid quote from my Pinterest board:

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So much goodness.

Second, wisdom that is so powerful from Mother Teresa.  I adore everything about this.

c544f874881113f75138985ce77d62a0And last, but absolutely not least, a favorite passage of mine about our identity being found in Christ.

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.  For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

Praising Jesus tonight for the 2% of annoying and silly that led me straight to Him.  God is good.

05.30.15 16 Comments

EVERYDAY IN MAY… almost a lie.

I was en route to bed before remembering the month is MAY and the promise is EVERYDAY!

I told The Shippmate it would have been so frustrating to ruin this kind of EVERYDAY IN MAY commitment on the second to last day of the month!

So, I’m glad I didn’t.

But I am TIRED.  I woke up two hours earlier than normal and did numerous exciting things all day and night, none of which involved napping, so now at the hour of midnight, I’m pretty much done.

And I don’t even have the energy to copy and paste pictures from FB/Insta, so please just find me there and see the goodness of June wanting to paint, us eating a delicious breakfast out together, the room ACTUALLY painted so wonderfully, and our night out as a fam at a precious wedding.

OH!  I will post one picture.  Because it completely cracked me up and made me smile.

June and I went to Hobby Lobby today, and she was easily entertained by picking up various signs and asking me, “Say what, Mommy?”

So I would read them to her and she would say, “Oh!  Thanks, Mommy.  Good one.” before putting the sign back and finding another.

But when she turned to me with this one, I just had to snap a pic:

10402885_647694983782_6700152177915047464_nSo much to love.

And such a perfect way to end a post I’m nearly positive I’m typing in my sleep.

Kind of like June danced and enjoyed her little heart out at the wedding tonight and crashed on Mammie’s chest.

IMG_8412Which was reminiscent for my mom and I of how June spent her very first night home from the hospital.

Asleep on Mammie’s chest.

Ah- the love of those two.  It’s too sweet for words.

Which is why I’m ending here.

Good night to all and may your night find you snuggling up to someone like June is to her Grammy!

05.29.15 2 Comments

I love today.

My mom and I have had a pedi/mani date on the calendar for tonight for a couple of weeks, because we have a wedding tomorrow night and then I have maternity pics Saturday, so it’s perfect timing.

And let me just say- knowing you have a pampering and relaxing night with your mom happening makes the entire day better!

I remember feeling that way when I had an outside of the home kind of job, too– like the work day especially flew by when you had fun plans that night, so it’s kind of the same idea.

Though June and my days never feel slow or boring, I just felt more energetic to do everything today knowing the sweetness my night has in store!

We ran all sorts of errands for Captain’s room, including picking out the paint for his room.

The paint guys said we picked it out in record time, but with this kind of concentration and help, would you really expect anything less?

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Hahaha, but seriously.   She is just so much fun to live life with– I can’t explain how much having her as my daily sidekick is just the very best.

(She picked out that shirt today and said, “CHIEFSSS!  PA!!!!!”)

She is so excited about the paint and all of the little details I’ve been discussing with her for his room that it makes me DOUBLY excited about it all.

Preparing a room is so important to me, and now that the process has begun I feel a million times less overwhelmed and stressed and SO happy that we’re making a special place for our baby boy.

I honestly wondered if it would be more stressful getting stuff with June, but literally I LOVE having her there to talk to about the colors and the carpet and the details.  She is genuinely so excited, and I just love her enthusiasm and ownership in this project of making Captain’s room so special.

I will say with my entrance into The Third Trimester, I’ve especially had Captain’s place in our future on the mind.

Constantly, I’m wondering…. “How will we do this with Captain?”  or  “Will we still do this with Captain lol?”

It’s just that June and I have such a dang good routine together.  We eat our breakfast together while either talking about our plans for the day or watching Daniel Tiger.

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I let her watch a little Tiger either way so I can either get ready for the day or do a few chores, etc.

Then we start our daily adventures– be it a trip to the park, paint and carpet shopping, a walk around campus, playing on our deck with her water table, visiting neighbors, etc.

Later in the afternoon, she gets to watch a little Daniel Tiger with her water and snack in her chair while I tidy up the toys/kitchen before putting her down for nap.

It’s just all so dang easy.  She very much knows around 2pm it’s going to be nap time and she’s going to snuggle in her favorite chair with her water and snack with Tiger.  When I tell her to tell him “bye bye” she so sweetly says, “Bye Bye Tiger, see you later, friend- my nap time!”

And then I set her down in her bed where we say byes and I love yous and she so calmly goes into her nap while I dance around knowing I have a couple of hours to do whatever it is I do lol.

Which today is blogging in our clean house with my own water and snack while it’s storming outside.

Which is also known as BLISS.

Other days it might be reading a book or working on a project or starting dinner or watching Netflix.

Having one kid– at least a June Harbor of a one kid at this point– is pretty dang sweet.

While all of these things are happening– from paint shopping to lunch on campus and walking around outside together to her easy nap time routine while I tidy up the kitchen and house– I am constantly wondering:

WHERE DOES CAPTAIN FIT INTO THIS NEAT AND TIDY LITTLE ROUTINE!?

Ha!

My guess is that he isn’t going to quite fit in flawlessly.  I kind of have to assume having two kids will never be as easy as one.  I do very much hope we will somehow find a routine of our own that might eventually involve me getting to watch Netflix again lol, but I doubt it will be immediate.

I also sometimes wonder what June is going to think of our new normal.  Is it going to crush her?  Will she resent me?  Will she be annoyed at Captain for monopolizing part of her time with me?

The fears I could have are many, and yet— I just have to trust having a second kid surely isn’t ruining life for all of us forever.

Even though it’s really, really difficult for me to imagine or wrap my mind around, I hear that I’m going to love this baby just like June, and if that is the case, I can’t imagine our future being anything but BETTER.  And sweeter.

And likely less relaxing and with less Netflix and less time to read books, but maybe that’s okay.

I’ve been The Absolute Queen of FREAKING OUT at little things that aren’t that stressful lately (hello hormones) (God bless my Shippmate) but today, I’m so calm and confident that all will get done, all will be wonderful, and I just need to take Daniel Tiger’s advice and “take a deep breath and count to 4.” (which is HILARIOUS when June sings this and takes the deep breath lol)

I love today.  I don’t know if some hormones are chilling the heck out or if it’s the stormy weather I love or the fact I’ve got a pedi/mani date with my mom on the agenda, but I’m just so thankful for this house we live in that I love so much and my Shippmate who sends me sweet texts from work and my June Harbor that makes my job as a SAHM the very best.

And here’s to hoping life only gets sweeter (albeit likely less calm and neat and tidy lol) when Captain comes in August.

PS:  One more love of today in the form of it’s 3pm and my EVERYDAY IN MAY blog is done!  This means I won’t be typing in my sleep at midnight!  HOLLA!

05.28.15 9 Comments

Defying Etiquette. One “sprinkle” at a time.

I’ve been a blog slacker the last few nights, just kind of limping across the finish line that is EVERYDAY IN MAY, but then today during Calendar Time with June I realized May is almost over!

Nothing like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel to give you that extra boost to KEEP ON GOING.

So a real post tonight.

Not a copy and paste from The Facebook.

Not only is it a real post, but I’m also going to address a super serious and what Barbara Walters might have called a Hot Topic.

Prepare yourself.

BIG AND DARING CONTENT AHEAD.

(for those of you that read me rather literally, cue the SARCASM font here lol)

So, I’m going to have a shower for my little Captain.

…..

Gasp.  Shun. Stone me.

I KNOW.  It’s my SECOND kid.

You’re surely thinking:  Do you ALSO wear white after Labor Day!?  (Ahhhh, maybe.)

Not only do I have the audacity to celebrate a second kid, but it’s my second kid in two years.  Just two summers ago, we were just doing this.

Apparently proper etiquette says you don’t do this.

But here’s the thing…  I’m actually not that proper after all.

My mom?  VERY PROPER.  The woman RSVPs like a pro, keeps the US Post Office in business with her thoughtful cards and thank you notes, and always has tissue paper for her gifts.

She’s seriously the best.

She was raised by Mary Jane… even MORE PROPER THAN MY MOM.  Nanny would tell me of wearing gloves and a nice dress… to go grocery shopping.  Nanny’s style exuded class.

I come from a line of women that are both proper and classy, and well… then there is me.

I admittedly never have tissue paper for gifts and once asked Ryan to wait until someone opened another gift, steal the used tissue paper and stick it in our gift.

MY MOM IS DYING THAT I, ONE:  DID THAT, TWO: PUBLICLY JUST ADMITTED IT.

This is me being a whole lot of me:

482697_564298381242_22588063_nMy mom would NEVER use one of those gift wrapping stop shops, and I’m all:  BEST IDEA EVER.

(When my Shippmate took this picture he said, “You can take the girl out of Odessa but you can’t take the Odessa out of the girl.”  Which made me die laughing, because I love him. And my Odessa roots.)

Anyway, so back to the Hot Topic on hand.

Yes, I’m going to have a shower for my second child.

And I KNOW that it’s making Miss Manners cringe, but here’s the thing– this baby inside of me?

He has been prayed over by so many.

He has both worried me so very much and simultaneously taught me to stretch my faith in ways I didn’t know possible.

He made for a hell of a first trimester that saw me doing a whole lot of this:

10885356_631030544452_4495000438595850770_nI’m sorry, Miss Manners– I seriously respect your allegiance to etiquette, but for me and my Captain… I’m going to kind of beat to my own drum here.

I WANT to celebrate him.

I WANT to have friends and women I love gather and eat cake and feel him dancing inside of me.

I WANT to talk about him and his nursery and what he might look like with ladies who already love him.

I WANT to give him a night to know I’m so excited for him– and others are too– like I did for my firstborn girl.

(Don’t tell him that I had like 4 showers for her comparatively to his one.  HEY- it’s a rebellious ONE I’m having for you, Captain!)

I know not everyone will agree with this, and I get that.  I seriously do.  I was talking to some different friends today (some that have offered to host a shower for Captain and others that have said they have sweet boy things for his shower) and while I’ve been to second (or even third) baby showers for my own friends, almost all of them mentioned their moms thinking it’s not something you do.

Which I also get.  Our mamas– just like Miranda sings it to us– come from a softer generation.

My own mom included!

Sometimes I think, my poor mom– she totally sings to the heart of Miranda’s song of hiding your crazy…. she is here in 2015 without a Facebook or Instagram or any kind of social media… and she has a daughter with a BLOG!

The irony of it really does make you have to laugh.

But I do think our moms come from a different generation, so I get that showers for second babies may be a bit tacky to them.

I had to think about it for awhile, but I decided I’m okay with that.

Not because I want to be offensive or rude– not that AT ALL actually.

But because this is me and my babe, and this is what we’re choosing to do.  Just like I make other choices that those from a softer generation might raise an eyebrow about.

I KNOW women of the generation before me– and a great deal in the here and now– either aren’t a fan of breastfeeding or think it should be done in a back room somewhere hidden away from all civilization.

And as for me… well, about a month or two in, June and I had kind of ditched the covers.

I can appreciate those people who aren’t having a get together for a second babe, while still wanting to do something special for this little man of mine just like I can appreciate people who choose to do formula while loving breastfeeding my babes wherever we go.

My mom is much classier than me.  Seriously– I WISH I was as put together as she is– tissue paper, immediate RSVPs, and clothes always impeccably ironed.

(I don’t even know where our iron is and/or if made the move with us last year.  Shhhh…. don’t tell my mama!)

I so appreciate that despite my mom being from a softer generation that didn’t do second baby showers, she said she’d do anything for this one, and then made a joke saying surely we won’t be doing this for a third or fourth baby, will we?

(Don’t tell her, but I laughed like, “Oh no!” but secretly thought “HECK YEAH WE WILL!” Hahahaha.)

PS:  I just remembered what my mom told me– we’re not calling this a shower.  It’s a SPRINKLE!  ….which I’m not sure what that means, but if my mama says it, I know it’s legit.

Shower, sprinkle, or PAR-TAY… I can’t wait to be among those I know share a love for this sweet face as we count down the days until we can kiss those cheeks of his!

photo 2(1)PPS:  I was buying a friend a baby gift at Target a couple of weeks ago (for a THIRD baby! WHOA!) and just being among all of the baby stuff totally had me 35 shades of giddy that I’m about to get to do this again!!!!!  Reason #13 on my list of why we’re getting our sprinkle on, Captain!

05.27.15 23 Comments

A Favorite Quote

“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.”

-Sally Field

Preach it, sister– so much to love.

(I know, I know– this is a total copy and paste from FB… such a busy and wonderful day that didn’t allow time to be inside blogging but better posts coming soon!  I have ideas drafted in my mind that are dying to come to the keyboard– I just need fun and exciting things to quit happening, so I can have the time to write!)

05.26.15 Leave a comment

Too. Tired. To. Type.

I’m dying.

I slept three hours last night.

And I do not handle no sleep well.  Like I’m the worst.

I’ve never gone without sleep so I don’t know how to handle it.

At one point today, June was standing on the table, I was crying (just because I was so tired I couldn’t think of anything else to do) and she said, “I know! Get Mommy bink!  Feel better, Mommy?”

I love her so much.

She really did get me a bink and it halfway did make me feel better lol.

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It was just the wrong day to be exhausted.

We had an early morning to go see my favorite grandpa in the Honor Guard, lunch with the fam, before coming home to get ready and groceries and prepare for a Memorial Day BBQ at our place with friends.

I was so tired I text my parents and said I might have to come to their house while all our friends were at our house after I got stuff ready, because I felt so awful.  But then the idea of the drive there and the drive back felt too overwhelming and Ryan was so excited about this BBQ that I decided to put on some make up and force myself to be more awake and fun than I felt.

Which turned out to be such a great time.

I mean my eyes still feel like they should be closed, but I so enjoyed having so many friends and kids here sharing burgers and salsa and s’mores with us.

Not to mention, June LOVES having friends over and seeing her run and play and adore her best buds really does make me so happy.

And I know Ryan was glad I stayed, so I was happy about that, too.

It just totally bummed me out that I had to be going on empty on a day that I so wanted to soak in and just enjoy.

Dear Lord in heaven if this is what I’m going to feel like everyday with a newborn, I literally don’t know that I will survive.

I am not even kidding about that, and I pray every night he’s somehow magically a perfect sleeper from night one in the hospital like his big sister June.

If not, there is no promising she will not always be my favorite child.  I’m kidding.

Kind of.

I just tried to write the same sentence three times before just giving up and calling this a wrap.

Despite feeling like death, there were so many wonderful things happening all around me today.

Here’s just a few pictures of all of that goodness.

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11247712_646589204772_364814309449472710_n 11377175_646588396392_6414406761584518997_n 11269022_646596599952_1722836611242318936_n

And last, but certainly not least– Happy Memorial Day.  My heart is so grateful for those who serve our country and those who have paid the ultimate price for our freedom.  Thank you feels so small, but I say it with so much sincerity and gratitude.

05.25.15 2 Comments

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